Cambridge, England. In a modern version of the chicken-egg controversy, geneticists at Cambridge University have solved the ancient question of whether a peanut evolved from a duck or whether a duck evolved from a peanut or a rock.
Using the latest DNA techniques, Cambridge scientists have concluded their ten-year project examining the DNA of peanuts, rocks, and ducks. Sir Henry Flatstone, speaking for the Cambridge Genetics Project, announced that the working group has “conclusively established that peanuts evolved from ducks despite previous scientific conjecture that ducks came from peanuts. We also investigated the theory, started by Euclid and held by a handful of geneticists, that ducks evolved from rocks.”
“Once we gave it a go after a few years of lassitude, we were able to extract a full set of DNA from a peanut, a rock and a duck,” said Flatstone. “Our computers then compared them at sixteen million separate points and found, though there were remarkable similarities, that ducks came first. Peanuts began to develop when a dwarf molecule at the 17th chromosome of a mallard duck somehow changed into what is likely a tiny peanut that resembled a very small Pee Wee Herman but evolved over the next two million years into the peanut we know today. Rocks, it turned out, are not related to any known animal, including ducks, and so are a separate species.”
The scientific community, not surprisingly, was buzzing about the discovery and more than one geneticist predicted that Flatstone could be on his way to a Nobel Prize in something or other.