Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Food, Human Body, Leisure
Posted on 04-11-2011 | E-mail this to a friend
Oak Brook, Ill. McDonald’s announced today the invention of its Superdupergigantichugeburger, which is twenty-six inches tall and contains over 42,000 calories, and will literally reduce malnutrition throughout the world.
“In our quest to have McDonald’s provide an answer to food shortages around the world, our research team has long been working on a sandwich that would literally substitute for several months of food needs,” said Clipper Rotunda a spokesperson for McDonald’s. “I am so proud to announce we have succeeded. If a starving child or adult eats one of our Superdupergigantichugeburgers, he or she will not need any more food for at least sixty days. Our preliminary research shows that newborn babies are especially fond of the taste of this delicious sandwich.”
World reaction was prompt and positive. A press release by the United Nations stated, “Rarely has a private company solved a pervasive international tragedy. McDonald’s has done this. We are now in the process of ordering twenty-two million Superedupergigantichugeburgers to relieve starvation of every man, woman and child in Eastern Africa .”
The news caused McDonald’s stock to soar because of projected massive purchases by the United Nations and McDonald’s outlets in Mississippi .
Though McDonald’s was vague in describing the new sandwich, sources within the McDonald research team reported it contained 32 pounds of meat, was 25 inches in diameter, and included 9 heads of lettuce, 14 onions, 67 pickle slices, and both ketchup and a secret mustard recipe.