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CHENEY OPENS CONSULTING FIRM FOR WARLORDS

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Business, History, Politics
Posted on 24-02-2010 | E-mail this to a friend

WASHINGTON, DC–Former Vice President, Dick Cheney, announced the formation of an international consulting firm to assist warlords throughout the world.

“Warlords are a forgotten entity,” said a somber Cheney.  “My partners and I were looking for a niche and we discovered that no one was providing warlords with technical and strategic advice, yet that segment of government is desperately in need of training in the most modern approaches.  We expect to be up and running in a few months.

dickcheney1“A number of warlords have already contacted us and we are negotiating to provide them with our services.  Several have already signed to be our clients.

“We have hired some of the best former CIA and KGB interrogators, computer experts, and armament procurers from all over the globe.  Our public relations department will be second to none.  It has already come up with a nice jingle that will be used by a particular warlord in a country I am not at liberty to name. 

“Since our new company will hire many people, we have applied for government stimulus money.  We are also exploring the possibility of purchasing nuclear weapons expertise and materials since some of our potential clients are interested in this aspect of defending their legitimate interests.

“If this business works as well as we think, we are already exploring the possibility of expanding it to other ignored professions such as drug lords, petty dictators, religious zealots, and professional assassins.”

The Wall Street Journal published an editorial praising the new company as “an illustration of the market economy’s wonderful ability to adjust to new situations and improve efficiency in every aspect of life.”

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