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MAN WRITES RACHMANIOFF’S RHAPSODY ON A THEME OF PAGININI

COSBY, TENNESSEE.  Fletcher Baldwin, a previously unknown piano tuner-farmer, has just completed composing Rachmaninoff’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paginini and is already heralded as the next world’s greatest composer.  Baldwin, who had never... Read More

SURVEY: TELEVISION PERSONALITY AND WARLORD ARE BEST JOBS

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Behavioral Psychology, Business, Geography, History, Sports, Studies of the Rich
Posted on 16-03-2015 | E-mail this to a friend

what-you-need-to-do-at-career-fairs_16001154_800833131_0_0_14037941_500[1]Washington.  The International Survey Foundation announced the results of its first poll of The Best Job in the World, showing marked and unexpected diversity among regions.

The poll of random people in 168 countries produced some startling results. Each respondent was asked to name “the best job in the world.”   In the United States, by far the most preferred career was “Television Personality.”  Most respondents reasoned that this is the only full time job where you can get paid millions and have no idea why or have anything to do.  “Professional Athlete” was a distant second among Americans.  The third choice was “Having a Rich Daddy” though some academics have questioned whether this is really a job.  “Getting a Fat Allowance”, however, was universally considered to be a legitimate job and finished ninth in the American poll.

In Afghanistan the results were quite different.   Over 90% of respondents indicated that being a “Warlord” was the best job in the world.  “Goat Herding” was a distant second followed by “Shooting People.”  Interestingly, ”Shooting People” was only eleventh in the American poll.

The only unanimous poll occurred in Australia where 100% of 84,000 respondents said “Being in a Beer Commercial” was the best job in the world.

No surprisingly, the Vatican poll showed “Being Pope” as a popular choice.  However, there was a strange and unexplained divergence since over 100,000 males overwhelmingly voted this way but only three women did.

 

MISSISSIPPI ADDS RIGHT SHOE AS OFFICIAL STATE SHOE

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Behavioral Psychology, Business, Geography, History, Inventions, Leisure, Politics
Posted on 02-03-2015 | E-mail this to a friend

259196_stock-photo-old-bootJackson, Mississippi.  As part of a larger plan to attract businesses and tourists to Mississippi, Governor Buddy Ray Baldwin announced that the legislature had just selected the right shoe as the Official Shoe of Mississippi.

“For several years now our progressive legislature has been enacting laws designed to make Mississippi even more appealing to businesses and tourists from all over the world,” said Governor Baldwin.  “When someone pointed out we have an official Tree and an Official Bird but do not have an Official Shoe, the legislature sprong (sic) into action.   A subcommittee was formed in each house, over 600 extensive hearings were conducted both in Jackson and around the State, and it became clear that the citizens of this Great State wanted the right shoe as their Official Shoe. This became even more compelling when the Senate Committee discovered that Mississippi would be the first state in the Union to have an Official State Shoe. ”

“The right shoe was selected, “continued the Governor, “because it shows clearly that this Great State is right-leaning and God-fearing;  not one of the Communist left-leaning States like California and New York.  I understand they are both considering making marijuana their state plant.  In contrast, our decision shows plainly that Mississippians are working folk because every worker in the State wears a right shoe;  it is required by safety laws.”

Yoguna Tagasaki, head of site selection for Toyota, issued a public statement about the news.  “Before Mississippi adopted the right shoe as its Official Shoe, frankly Toyota had eliminated it for consideration for our next mega-factory in the U.S.  But now the ball game has changed.  In our assessment, Mississippi has become a leader in the competition for the factory.  We seek a progressive environment and what could be more creative and progressive than the adoption of an Official Shoe.”

In response to Mississippi’s bold and seemingly successful action, at least twenty other states are now exploring adopting their own Official Shoe as part of the cutthroat business of attracting jobs.  Delaware is even considering the adoption of its Official Shoe, Glove, Sock, Baseball Bat, Word, Pretzel. Ice Cream, Color, Lego Piece, Cosmetic Surgery, and Garden Tool.

 

 

FRENCH ADOPT CARRY LAW FOR GUILLOTINE

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Business, Geography, History, Human Body, Inventions, Politics
Posted on 02-03-2015 | E-mail this to a friend

PARIS.  In an effort to stem the spate of terroristic violence after the Charlie Hebdo murders, today the French legislature responded to conservative groups and approved the world’s first guillotine carry law.sotn mini guillotine

The new law permits Parisians to possess and carry their own personal guillotine.  French law already recognizes self defense, which means Parisians may now use their personal guillotine in addition to knives and fists to protect themselves.

“This is the greatest moment in French history,” proclaimed Claude Dumont, a 34 year-old unemployed carpenter.  “Until now, we had no effective way of protecting ourselves from ISIS and other terrorists that so freely behead people they do not like.  Now anyone in Paris can behead someone trying to behead them.  We can fight fire with fire as the Americans say.  I can’t wait to use my new Mini Guillotine.”

Not all French agree with Dumont.  Fannie Latour who works in a small coffee shop in the Sorbonne area of Paris said she is now more afraid than ever.  “I know one day a robber will come in, reach in his pocket and pull out his guillotine, and take all our money after threatening to behead anyone who resists.  We would be powerless to do anything!”

In anticipation of this new law, several French factories have begun producing hand-held guillotines.  The most popular is called the Napoleon because of its small size.  It weighs only fourteen ounces and is barely three inches tall and one inch wide.  It is designed to be concealed in a jacket pocket or purse and has a quick-release blade to facilitate instant beheadings.  It can also be used to cut tomatoes.

COURT REQUIRES INTERPRETER FOR ILLITERATE’S EYE TEST

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Behavioral Psychology, History, Human Body, Language, Politics
Posted on 02-03-2015 | E-mail this to a friend

San Rafael, CA. In a precedent-setting decision, a California judge ordered the California Department of Motor Vehicles to provide, free of charge, an interpreter to assist illiterate people taking the driver’s license eye test.
eye chartHolding that the Equal Protection Clause protects “the literate as well as the unliterate.” Judge Phoebe Winebauer held that impoverished illiterate people taking the eye exam required for a driver’s license in California must be given the services of a qualified interpreter. “How can even the person with perfect vision be expected to pass the eye test which uses letters and numbers if the person cannot read?” asked Judge Winebauer. “I refuse to allow such discrimination. We are equal or we are not equal but the law will not tolerate us being both unless we are one or the other,” she opined in a carefully nuanced 400 page opinion.

Governor Jerry Brown applauded the decision and immediately ordered the State to hire 250 interpreters to be assigned to every DMV location where eye examinations are offered.

At the San Rafael DMV office, Hector Alvarez, age 96,  who is both illiterate and has been blind since birth proudly stepped up to the eye examination machine and took his first eye test. Standing next to him was Rebecca Morris, a 21 year-old high school dropout with perfect vision who was recently hired to assist “literacy-challenged” people like Mr. Alvarez.

Mr. Alvarez peered into the machine, then moved back as Ms. Morris looked inside. “Line 12 is R, B, P. 6. D. 9” she whispered to Alvarez. Grinning, he repeated “line 12, R, B, P …” and was interrupted by the DMV agent administering the test. “Good job, Mr. Alvarez,” said the agent. “You passed. I don’t need to proceed further.”

“Only in America is this possible,” said a beaming Mr. Alvarez. “I could not even have dreamed I could get a driver’s license, but now I have one. I can’t wait to take my great grandchildren on a long drive!

OLYMPIC COMMITTEE FINALLY ADDS “SHOE” TO OLYMPIC GAMES

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Behavioral Psychology, Geography, History, Inventions, Sports
Posted on 02-03-2015 | E-mail this to a friend

iphone pictures 2-2015 055Berlin. In response to widespread public pressure from every corner of the globe, the International Olympic Committee has finally added “shoe” to the 2020 Winter Olympic Games.  It is expected at least 175 countries will enter both individual and team competitions.

Reflecting the social media-prompted craze, the game of shoe has essentially taken over the world sport scene. Attendance at soccer, baseball, and American football is at an all-time low. On September 16, 2014, for example, while only 18 people saw the New York Yankees play the Boston Red Sox for the American league championship, many millions were at home playing shoe and an estimated one billion people in 120 countries watched the nail-biting match between top-rated teams from Iceland and Kenya, won by Kenya on the last play of the contest.

A deceptively simply game, shoe involves strategically placing two shoes on the outside (cannot be on the inside) of a door but no more than eight inches from the door itself. Points are allocated based on the type of shoe, the angle(s) and heights of the shoes, and, most importantly, the creativity in using the limited space and the two shoes.

Players take turns manipulating the shoes with points allocated after each move. The photo to the upper right depicts the Wymann Gambit first played in 1994 by Alphonse Wymann of the Netherlands who placed two crossed orange flip flop shoes in the center of the door with one resting on its heel and the other on its toe and, obviously, won the match with the best total score in the history of the game.   No one had ever made this innovative play before and Wymann was the unanimous choice as the 1997 Shoe Player of the Year.

The game is over when the referees declare “time” and declare a winner. A unique feature of shoe is that the winner is not necessarily the person with the higher point score or even with a decent score. The refs have the discretion to declare the winner to be the athlete with the lower score. In addition, the referees decide how long the match lasts, ranging from a few seconds to four months. This unusual approach to timekeeping and scoring keeps fans’interest at a feverish high until the winner is announced.