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CHENEY OPENS CONSULTING FIRM FOR WARLORDS

WASHINGTON, DC–Former Vice President, Dick Cheney, announced the formation of an international consulting firm to assist warlords throughout the world. “Warlords are a forgotten entity,” said a somber Cheney.  “My partners and I were looking... Read More

SCIENTISTS BAFFLED: MAN DREAMS OF BEING AWAKE

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Behavioral Psychology, Human Body, Language
Posted on 25-10-2011 | E-mail this to a friend

EFFINBURGH, SCOTLAND.    Scientists at the prestigious University of Effinburgh were shocked to
discover a sheepherder named Lien Nehoc who actually dreamed he was awake when he was not.

Nehoc first went to his family doctor, Melinda Brogan, to discuss dreams that were making him anxious.  When the sheepherder told Brogan that a few nights before he had dreamt he was awake tending sheep at his small farm in Newfordshire, Brogan immediately called her husband, psychiatrist Peter Brogan, for advice.

Since neither doctor had heard of a person who actually dreamed of being awake, Brogan called his former mentor at Effinburgh medical school.  Professor Lawrence Soland also was unfamiliar with the phenomenon despite being the world’s foremost expert on dreams.

“Until Peter called me, neither I nor anyone else had ever even imagined someone asleep could dream of being awake.  The accepted view was that people who were daydreaming and awake could dream of being asleep, but no one could do the opposite. This opens up a whole new area of research for sleep scientists.  Now who knows what the Brannum Foci of the brain are capable of producing?”

Internet chat rooms for sleep researchers are now filled with such questions as:  could someone who is asleep actually dream of having a daydream of being asleep while dreaming of being awake?

GINGRICH THROWN OUT OF REPUBLICAN PARTY FOR REMARKS ABOUT OBAMA KIDS

Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Election 2012, Politics
Posted on 17-10-2011 | E-mail this to a friend

WASHINGTON.  The Republican Party officially kicked out Newt Gingrich for saying possibly nice things about President Obama’s  kids.

The issue arose during a campaign dinner appearance by former House Speaker Newt Gingrich in Iowa at the Ames Republican Club.  In the question-and-answer period after his well-received speech where he gave a vicious critique of every aspect of the Obama presidency, Gingrich was asked about his views of the Obama family.  “I guess the kids are OK,” answered Gingrich.

Persons present said the room went silent. Philippa Anderson who was there said,  “You could hear a pin drop.  Then the boos started, low key at first, then overwhelming.”  Gingrich looked startled and left the podium when the outraged crowd began to throw food, glasses, and small waiters.

Late that night after a rushed telephone conference call the Republican National Committee formally ousted Gingrich and issued a public apology.  “Newt violated the First Principle of Republicanism:  Never, ever say anything nice about Hussein Obama or anything he has anything to do with.”

Gingrich issued his own statement apologizing for the “slip up.”  “In the heat of a campaign sometimes a candidate will unintentionally say something flat out wrong.  What I meant to say was that I am sure the kids are at risk of serious mental harm by their constant exposure to socialism and anti-American thought that permeates the Obama White House. At the least, the child welfare authorities should launch an intensive investigation that will likely lead to having the kids removed from the Obama influence and placed in a real American home.”