London. The English House of Lords increased its membership by three by adding Jesus, Mohammed, and Yahweh as members.
“It just seemed the right thing to do,” said Robert Pickwick, spokesperson for the House of Lords Appointments Committee. “After all, we have about 740 members including 26 bishops. How could we not include Lord Jesus, Lord Mohammed, and Lord Yahweh?”
Their appointments, like all life peers, are for their entire life. “Frankly, we have not faced the issue of what to do if one of them dies, but I guess we will if it ever happens,” said Pickwick.
The announcement set off a flurry of comments, some quite hostile. The Agnostics Society said the appointment violated their right to be free from government adoption of religion, a claim that most would reject as inconsistent with the House of Lord’s historical representation of Bishops of the Church of England.
Both members of the Ooltewah faith, a small nature-worshipping religion based in a cigar store in Liverpool, immediately began circulating a petition to have their god-figure, called Oolte, selected as a life peer in the next round of appointments. Oolte, regarded as having the body of a very large gerbil, the feet of a millipede, and the head of Lyle Lovett, the American entertainer, was first seen in a dream by Skye Oolte (formerly William Smithe) who was in a drunken stupor after attending a Lyle Lovett concert.
Mr. Pickwick, of the Appointments Committee, denied comment but said that he would look at any petitions he received for new positions in the House of Lords.