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Arlington, VA.  The Child Protective League announced that it had discovered a cute two-year-old tot who was actually raised by a family of pumpkins. James Gobbert, an investigator for the League,  did not expect to find what he found when he responded... Read More


Posted by Sullivan Lawson | Posted in Election 2012, History, Inventions, Politics, Religion
Posted on 27-01-2011 | E-mail this to a friend

Washington.  In a speech to Tea Party loyalists, Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann called on the Tea Party to adopt the Headless Horseman as its official mascot.

“”I suggest that the Tea Party adopt the Headless Horseman as its symbol and mascot,” said a beaming Bachmann addressing a small crowd of cheering Tea Party activists in Washington to protest both a government-gone-wild with excess spending and the possible cut in Social Security and Medicare benefits to elderly Americans.

Bachmann enthusiastically yelled, “What could be more appropriate than this Revolutionary War symbol that celebrates George Washington’s God-inspired walk across the top of the waters of the Potomac when he uttered the words that Americans will never forget, ‘I cannot sell a pie.’”

When asked for a comment, MSNBC host Chris Matthews screeched, “She’s an idiot!  She knows nothing about American history.  The Headless Horseman is in a work of fiction by Washington Irving.  And George Washington said, ‘I cannot tell a lie,’ not ‘I cannot sell a pie.’”

Bachmann’s response to Matthews HeadlessHorsemanwas pithy and biting, “He’s an idiot who knows nothing about American history.”

Matthews’ response to Bachmann’s response was short and sweet.  “She’s an idiot.”

President Obama, choosing to walk the middle ground in this now spirited public dispute, was quoted as saying, “I can understand both of their views but it is now the time to move ahead and drastically cut federal spending without removing any benefits from anyone.  I know we can do it.  Remember, we are Americans. We invented the internet and everything else.”


Posted by Farkley Bugg | Posted in Arts, Behavioral Psychology, Human Body, Language, Leisure
Posted on 25-01-2011 | E-mail this to a friend

Miami.  Ventriloquist Samuel “The Voice” Pether has finally perfected the art of projecting his own voice as if it were coming from his own mouth.

man alone on stage “I have been working on this my whole life,” said a proud Pether, an experienced ventriloquist who has performed throughout the world for almost forty years.  “I had gotten pretty good at the usual suspects:  JFK, DeNiro, Obama, John Wayne, and Cheney.  But I just couldn’t crack the ultimate challenge:  me!

 “At first,” he said, “I thought it would be impossible.  It is hard to hear yourself and especially hard to imitate your own voice.  I must have tried it a million times before I got it right.

 “My wife confirmed it.  She walked into the bathroom where I was rehearsing and told me I sounded just like myself.  I literally squealed with joy when she said it.  You can’t imagine how pleased I was. Now I can’t wait to hear what I have to say!”

Audiences have reacted enthusiastically to this part of Pether’s act.  At a recent performance, one man actually shouted “Bravo” and another wept when Pether spent five minutes imitating himself talking to himself about a dog they had in common. 

 “I have never seen anything like it,” said an admiring fiftyish woman who attended the performance.  “Simply stunning! Stunning.!”