NEW YORK. Tired of being referred to as New York, New York, by confused tourists and late night comics, the City of New York has formally requested that the State of New York change its name to something less confusing.
Apparently for the first time in American history, a city has asked a state to adopt a new name. Mayor David Bloomberg made the unusual request during his annual State of New York City speech.
Lamenting the ongoing confusion over the name used by both the City and State of New York, Mayor Bloomberg suggested that New York State not fight the change since the City legal department was prepared to file suit in federal court within the week.
According to Bloomberg, the suit would be based on two sure-fire theories. First, the legal department recently located documents showing that the City of New York trademarked the name “New York” in 1768.
The second theory is the doctrine of primogeniture which is a well-accepted legal term for an inheritance by the eldest son. Since the City of New York was formed before the State of New York, Mayor Bloomberg opined that the Supreme Court would waste no time in holding that the City had first rights to the use of the name New York, much as a firstborn son had a natural right to inherit all of his father’s property.
To assist the State in the inevitable change of name, Mayor Bloomberg suggested that the State of New York could become the State of York; the State of New; the State of York New; the State of Big Apple; the State of Yankee; the State of Broadway; or even the State of Pastrami.
Governor Paterson’s office issued a short statement that it was studying the matter and appreciated the Mayor’s suggestions.