Dublin, Ireland. Guinness has confirmed that Malcolm McGrady, a Dublin dentist, has established a new world’s record by losing a million single socks over his 68 year lifetime.
“I don’t know what happens to them,” said a thoughtful McGrady. “Every time I do a wash a bunch of socks just disappear. The same thing happened to me Mum when I was a wee thing. Baby socks somehow got lost so much that Mum used to buy them by the gross.”
Professor DeWitt Canbury, the Nobel winning geneticist at Cambridge University, said the remarkable achievement may open up an entirely new area of genetic research. “Never before have we seen what appears to be a genetic trait that involves extreme careless behavior. I plan on presenting a speculative paper on this intriguing subject at the next international conference.”
The Global Sock Company’s President, Chow Fong, issued a statement congratulating McGrady on a “most important achievement. As the world’s largest manufacturer of socks, we hope that we produced at least some of the socks that were lost. This would be our small contribution to an accomplishment that may never be duplicated on earth.”