Jackson, Mississippi. As part of a larger plan to attract businesses and tourists to Mississippi, Governor Buddy Ray Baldwin announced that the legislature had just selected the right shoe as the Official Shoe of Mississippi.
“For several years now our progressive legislature has been enacting laws designed to make Mississippi even more appealing to businesses and tourists from all over the world,” said Governor Baldwin. “When someone pointed out we have an official Tree and an Official Bird but do not have an Official Shoe, the legislature sprong (sic) into action. A subcommittee was formed in each house, over 600 extensive hearings were conducted both in Jackson and around the State, and it became clear that the citizens of this Great State wanted the right shoe as their Official Shoe. This became even more compelling when the Senate Committee discovered that Mississippi would be the first state in the Union to have an Official State Shoe. ”
“The right shoe was selected, “continued the Governor, “because it shows clearly that this Great State is right-leaning and God-fearing; not one of the Communist left-leaning States like California and New York. I understand they are both considering making marijuana their state plant. In contrast, our decision shows plainly that Mississippians are working folk because every worker in the State wears a right shoe; it is required by safety laws.”
Yoguna Tagasaki, head of site selection for Toyota, issued a public statement about the news. “Before Mississippi adopted the right shoe as its Official Shoe, frankly Toyota had eliminated it for consideration for our next mega-factory in the U.S. But now the ball game has changed. In our assessment, Mississippi has become a leader in the competition for the factory. We seek a progressive environment and what could be more creative and progressive than the adoption of an Official Shoe.”
In response to Mississippi’s bold and seemingly successful action, at least twenty other states are now exploring adopting their own Official Shoe as part of the cutthroat business of attracting jobs. Delaware is even considering the adoption of its Official Shoe, Glove, Sock, Baseball Bat, Word, Pretzel. Ice Cream, Color, Lego Piece, Cosmetic Surgery, and Garden Tool.